Okay..so, nothing prepares you (really) for having a newborn to take care of. I mean, even though I've done it before, (hence the 2 boys that keep barging into my house) I forgot the total all-encompassing responsibility and lack of sleep! I can't just close my eyes and sleep whenever I feel the need. And if I do feel the need and The Babe happens to be asleep at the time I feel this need, she will awaken miraculously as soon as I drift away. And whenever I want to eat...she wants to eat first, so I have to wait while she nonchalantly ever so relaxingly drains my boobies. (30 min.-1 hr.) I gently place her down to slumber (so I can eat).. when POP..her eyeballs are looking right at me! (or cross-eyed like or somewhere around me) And is acting like she's starving by voraciously stuffing her fist in her mouth and snorting like a pig. So sitting is what I do as she feeds yet again (for another s-l-o-w hour).
It's an adjustment and I definitely feel better than I did last week. I guess I'm catching up on sleep (she's slept 4-5 hrs the past few nights) and the 1/2 cup of coffee I am drinking nowadays is surely helping .. me thinks.
I can't stand the love I feel for this little girl (who I now call Frog..due to her bunched up legs when I'm holding her) and when I am up with her at 1am, feeling groggy and hoarse-voiced, I try to remember that these moments will be very fleeting. I try not to take advantage, but enjoy. Granted, some moments I cry in frustration because I'm so worn out or I feel drained (not just literally) from breastfeeding, or because I miss sex. (4 more wks to go) But these moments are fewer than my moments of complete wonder and gratefulness for having Cedar. She's beautiful isn't she? One should never ever ever complain when an angel is sent to you. Never. So I try not to. (too much)
The birth of her was amazing. I did it all natural, with no drugs and wouldn't change a thing. I labored at home with the help of Corey and my doula, Deanna. (look up "doula" if you don't know what that is) By the time we got to the hospital, I was ready to push and the doctor barely got there in time. When he did get there, and sat at the end of the bed, Cedar was ready. 10 minutes and voila! There is so much to write about the birth, but for now this is my brief synopsis. I felt incredible and like Wonder Woman! I kept saying "I did it! I did it!"
Life is good with my little Cedar splinter wood.
1 comment:
JENNY! I love this beautiful post! How wonderful. I haven't been 'out' of the baby stage yet - so I feel for you! I'm sure it's a shock to be back in - but all so wonderful at the same time. Cedar is SOOOOOO beautiful and sweet! I love that you had her 'naturally'. My last two were natural (the second not so much by choice, the 3rd was - because I realized I COULD do it.) It is truely an amazing experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat. She is a little angel!!
Post a Comment